Marriage is an institution created by God and for God. That is man’s way of admitting to themselves that they don’t understand how it all works in a prideful but dignified way. Pride will do you no good before God; remember, pride comes before a fall. So, what should be said here? The truth. In a world where marriage often faces numerous challenges, Christian couples are not exempt from the trials that test the foundation of their unions. Surprisingly, divorce rates within the church mirror those in the non-church population in America. This statistic alone should prompt a crucial exploration into the elements contributing to Christian marriage’s sanctity and the reasons behind the unsettling figures.
The Divine Design of Marriage
The concept of marriage is deeply rooted in the biblical narrative, specifically in the Book of Genesis. It is portrayed as a divine institution ordained by God involving a physical union between a man and a woman. The spiritual aspect of marriage is highlighted in Matthew 19:6, emphasizing the triune relationship between the man, the woman, and God. Anything that attempts to change this divine model is perverse in God’s eyes—a.k.a. sin. And sin in a marriage is a legal door opened to Satan.
Establishing Discipleship as a Foundation.
The call to discipleship is paramount before two individuals become one in marriage. Mark 10:6-8 outlines the definition of marriage. The key element of the marriage is the couple choosing to become “One flesh” under this marriage covenant. In this, God uses the covenant marriage as one of the highest callings of unity within the Body of Christ. Moreover, it represents two Disciples-in-Christ (Matthew 28:18-20) becoming one.
Now, notice the term “Disciple-in-Christ” used here, for I am intentionally referencing the commandment Jesus left us in Matthew 28:18-20 which told us to “Go and make disciples of all nations.” I want this term to trigger deep within us. We need to stir our willingness to commit to discipline ourselves in the teachings and ways of our Lord Jesus Christ. So much so that they teach others in the way of Christ; this is the person and couple I want to encourage in their decision to move forward into the marriage covenant. Together, being students and so much more, being doers of the word allows them to enter into the rest of God, which is the peace within your marriage—ultimately, experiencing a healthy and happy marriage, prosperity within your marriage, sexual satisfaction within your marriage and best of all a victorious marriage.
It takes a lifestyle in the discipleship of Jesus Christ to be victorious at this level. Being anything less will only open you up as a couple to the enemy’s attacks. A lack of knowledge of the Devil’s devices can and will bring down marriages, as we see so many today. So, arm yourself with knowledge of the Word of God and be doers of it. You will see your marriage grow to be heaven on earth.
I want this article to have an impact on your life. I want you to go beyond what you understand to be Christian in light of the inconsistency of the models we see daily. I want you to see yourself going higher in the things of God by doing what he meant all of us to do, which is being “Doers of the Word and not hears only (James 1:22-24). That means they were both studying the Word of God to the point that they could rightfully divide and expound the teaching of Jesus Christ correctly. That means they were keeping a disciplined life of developing spiritual fruit as in (Galatians 5:22-23)—The fruit of love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
So, was all this on your list for a husband or wife? Honestly, other than a couple my wife and I met while on vacation in Jamaica who understood the goal in marriage was to be one, we never met anyone else who understood marriage that clearly or could explain it so succinctly. They were only married for two years. I was shocked, as if I had just experienced a mic-drop moment, and maybe feeling a little ashamed at 50-something. I don’t know anyone around us who is close to this regularly. Plenty of couples are going through issues and problems and faking the funk as it were on Sunday, and yet they call it the growing pains of marriage—”That’s cap!” A lie from the pit of hell itself.
These ongoing wars within marriage stem from a lack of desire to be disciples of Christ. Unwilling to trust God and to submit to obedience under the authority and Word of God. Know that God is good, and marriage shouldn’t be a punishment for past or present sins. It should be heaven on earth with the one you love and chose to be “God’s-love-manifested-before-you.” Yes, your husband, your wife. You should and want to be a Disciple-in-Christ with them. This lifestyle yields blessings and spiritual fruit multiples and remains. The God kind of marriage should be peaceful, powerful, and pregnant with God’s purpose, which should be seen by the world and envied.
Preparation for Mariage
The foundation for your marriage will be the same as your everyday life, grounded within the Love of God. Preparation starts with you and your commitment to the Law of Love. When individuals enter marriage without adequate preparation as disciples of Christ, they may lack the knowledge to foster a spiritually fulfilling and loving relationship.
"Ignorance about Spiritual Warfare"
The failure of local churches to address the reality of spiritual warfare caused by the demonic within the life of a Christian contributes to the challenges faced by marriages. Issues such as demonization, the authority of believers to cast out demons, and the potential dangers of involvement in secret societies are often overlooked and infrequently discussed on Sunday morning. This spiritual negligence opens the doors for negative influences of the demonic that wreaks havoc within marriages. Scripture tells us that we should bear the whole armor of God and be aware of the Devil’s schemes (2 Corinthians 2:10-11,
1 John 2:16-17,
Ephesians 6:10-11. These passages of scriptures were not a suggestion but an offensive directive from God on how to stand against the enemy. If we choose not to do it, we suffer the consequences of disobedience within both marriage members. God, as promised, made a way of escape to avoid the snare of the enemies and be victorious together in your marriage. The choice is ours to make.
The Weapons of Our Warfare
In the family of God, we must know that we have been equipped to stand against sin and wickedness and, more so, to take victory by the power of Jesus’s blood by holding the ground until the Lord returns.
James 4:7 New King James Version
"7 Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you."
This is something that becomes a multipler when married couple operates together to safe guide the marriage from the attack of the enemy.
Ephesians 6:13 New King James Version
13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
In verses 10-12 of Ephesians chapter 6, you will see the complete list of weapons at your disposal to use against Satan. Out of that list, the Word of God, being the “Sword,” is the only offensive weapon you use to repel the enemy from advancing into your life.
Ephesians 4:27 King James Version
27Neither give place to the devil.
From verses 24-30, you will find a Chiasm where verse 27, “Neither give place to the devil,” is another way of saying, “Close every door to Satan and his hoard demons.” If you examine James 4:7, it is saying the same thing. Those things which are not of God are sin. So don’t sin! Keep your house clean (Matthew 12:43-45), which is the temple of God (Body, Soul, Spirit) and filled with the righteousness of God, and you will keep all of the roaches, rats, sicknesses, diseases, and devils out of your life.
I am adding this piece of information as a late addition to the article, but I wanted to get this in without turning this brief into a book regarding “Deliverance.” Before you enter into marriage, both of you should go through the process of spiritual deliverance to remove demonic indwelling that may have been in place from birth, molestation, unforgiveness, sins of inequity (sins that are passed down within the bloodlines from your mother and father), willful agreements in opposition to God’s, Adultery, Fornication (Sex before marriage). Adultery and Fornication can be particularly a bad situation since demonic spirits can be transferred to one another as there is no spiritual protection present, for it is a transgression or willful act of sin.
I would strongly recommend seeking help with this topic, starting with reading “Deliverance From Demonic Covenants And Curses” by James A. Solomon. It is a must-read before you get married.
"The Role of Discernment"
The role of discernment can come two ways: one, by godly supernatural discernment administered by the Holy Spirit as a spiritual gift, or two, by knowing the Word of God well enough that you can identify God’s nature and character by the patterns of scriptural history in terms of Judgements, decrees, and actions. Scripture tells us to look beyond what we see when facing our opposition, for it is not flesh and blood which we fight, but spirit.
Ephesians 6:12
reminds us that we shouldn’t focus our anger on another but know that what is in play is an external spiritual influence (The demonic). Therefore, our authority in Jesus Christ and the spiritual weapons we wield gives us power over darkness to bind evil spirits, cast out demons, or love the unlovable to run Satan clean out of them. By keeping us free from offense, we remain in position and power to stand for our spouses and loved ones while standing against the enemy and giving him no place within our marriages or households.
"Love for God and Unity in Marriage"
A marriage that survives and thrives is rooted in the Love of God and a shared commitment to subdue sin within their lives. Following
John 14:15 NKJV
and hating what God hates (Not people but sin!), as outlined in
Proverbs 6:16-19, allows couples to walk in agreement. Amos 3:3 emphasizes the significance of two walking together in unity, and
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
highlights the strength found in a cord of three strands. Your marriage is a cord of three-strands—You, Your Spouse, and God. Together, marriage forms a mighty and unbreakable cord.
"The Power of Agreement in Prayer"
Building on the foundation of unity is a great goal and accomplishment.
Matthew 18:19-20
stresses the importance of agreement in prayer. When spouses come together in harmony and agreement, seeking God’s guidance and intervention, the power of their prayers is amplified. As a result of this agreement in prayer, this shared spiritual journey not only strengthens their bond but also invites the presence of God into the midst of their marriage, fostering resilience against the challenges that may arise in life.
“But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh." Mark 10:6-8 NIV
"The Conclusion To Lessons We Should Have Learned"
The best position to declare victory is from the winner’s circle with a well-laid plan created in God’s wisdom. Unfortunately, we survive many life experiences from our foolishness or folly, which teaches us things not to do. I hope you learn “here and now” the things that are a snare to many in marriage, leading down a long and arduous path that I once walked regrettably, ending in a marriage that went up in flames. If you have been around church any length of time, you will come to know the well-known phrase “We grew up in church” has been tossed around to many. The thinly veiled reality brought a rude awakening to my religious understanding of marriage, which came crumbling down all around me in my first marriage. The bottom line is that phrases and sayings about knowing God and your love for him are just that without being a doer of the word. Everything is smoke and vapor without foundation on the “Rock,” which is the word of God—being an active doer of God’s word and making it the final say in all decisions, arguments, and agreements is the victory.
"Starting the race the right way with marriage"
Congratulations! Love and marriage God’s way is a wonderful thing. One of the blessed rewards is sex. Sex is only right in the eyes of God between a physically born man and a physically born woman who is currently married to each other. Outside of that, it is sin. Sex before marriage is a sin. Sex in any form that happens between a man and a woman who are not married to each other is a sin. Worse yet, it opens the door to generational curses that allow Satan to have legal ground, spiritually, in the lives of the active participants and that of any future offspring. That translates into calamity, misfortune, poverty, sickness, and disease. Sin opens the door to Satan and his demons to turn life upside down for those snared within it. In the book of Job, there was a conversation between God and Satan, who shared much insight on the impact of sin, so there was a lack thereof in this case. Let’s look at the following scriptures:
Job 1:8-10 Good News Translation
8"Did you notice my servant Job?” the Lord asked. “There is no one on earth as faithful and good as he is. He worships me and is careful not to do anything evil.” 9Satan replied, “Would Job worship you if he got nothing out of it? 10You have always protected him and his family and everything he owns. You bless everything he does, and you have given him enough cattle to fill the whole country."
"Have You not made a hedge around him, around his household, and around all that he has on every side? You have blessed the work of his hands, and his possessions have increased in the land. (Job 1:10 NKJV)"
Did you catch all that? Verse nine is a later discussion of the principle of the Law of Love (Matthew 22:37-40 NKJV), which we will tackle in a separate thread, but notice in verse 10 that Satan discloses his inability to touch Job, his family and his material goods. Plus, by avoiding sin, it allowed Job to continue to prosper in whatever he put his hands to do (Hands that prosper - (Psalm 1:3 NKJV), Seeking God way over your own first and watch him add to you in prosperity - (Matthew 6:33 NKJV), Producing the Spirit Fruit that remains - (John 15:16 NKJV), Spiritual Fruit that God desires - (Galatians 5:22-23 NKJV). Does that sound like something you want operating in your life—not to have the Devil touch you, touch your family, your money, or your health?!? Come on, sign me up, please!
So, the question is how? Now, mind you, our central conversation is about marriage. Well, fortunately, the prescription is the same for both. Fight to aggressively deny sin to exist in your marriage and your life. Let’s take a look at another passage of scripture regarding this matter.
Genesis 4:3-7 New Century Version
3 Later, Cain brought some food from the ground as a gift to God. 4 Abel brought the best parts from some of the firstborn of his flock. The Lord accepted Abel and his gift, 5 but he did not accept Cain and his gift. So Cain became very angry and felt rejected. 6 The Lord asked Cain, “Why are you angry? Why do you look so unhappy? 7 If you do things well, I will accept you, but if you do not do them well, sin is ready to attack you, or is crouching at your door. It wants to rule you, but you must rule or overcome it. " (My Emphasis Good New Translation & New Century Version)."
Look at verse seven and note that this is a pre-Jesus statement where God has empowered us to rule over sin. Amen! So, we are empowered and commanded by the virtue of many scriptures to close the door to sin. That means we are entitled to live in the”. . . life and life more abundantly found in (John 10:10 NKJV)."
Moreover, to enjoy the benefit of Satan not touching your life, your marriage, or your stuff. That is an “Amen” and “Hallelujah” moment right there.
Simply put, run from every occasion to sin, for it will cost you more than whatever you have in this life and the next. Married couples will often see their prayers answered when they agree with God in the midst of them (Matthew 18:19-20 NKJV).
So again, submitting to the understanding and teaching that sex is only for a naturally born male and a naturally born female who are married to each other will yield fruit that will remain in both your lives and others. Otherwise, it is a sin. So don’t delay or lose your blessings. Dwell right together in agreement and, more so, love so that the world can see God within you both to the point that they want what you have.
To conclude, considering all the factors we discussed today and putting these principles into action will yield the God kind of fruit that will remain (John 15:16 NKJV). Moreover, establishing your marriage on solid rock is to submit your marriage to God’s Word. Strive to keep Satan and sin out of your relationship, and prove your love to God by loving him first by showing your actions in obedience to his word and submission to each other (1 Corinthian 7:1-5 NIV).Remember, you and your spouse are one flesh in submission before God. Finally, husbands love your wives, and wives respect your husbands, for in doing so, they operate by faith in obedience to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. The result will render the marital peace which many people desire today.
Love, Peace, and Blessings.
Preston Thornton
My one hope and desire is that I help shepard you into an encounter with God and all of the fullness of his presence as someone once helped me to do.